Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
