My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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