You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
