got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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