Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
