Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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