Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
