Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
