dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
