Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
pray to the hookup gods
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
