There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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