Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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