one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
her facebook's as public as her vagina
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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