carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
