I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
