Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
