remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
