you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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