I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Do you have feelings for this penis?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
