How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
