I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
