Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
