that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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