apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
