I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
