so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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