I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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