Sry I called you an 8
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
