no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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