do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
