woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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