I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
