I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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