what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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