This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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