think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
