can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
