Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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