she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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