i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
