Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
