My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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