you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
