Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
