be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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