talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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