Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
