do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
