Nicole vs. Life
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
