Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm like, not good at living.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
